The Pursuit of a Perfect Day
Written by Rory O'Driscoll
Hey,
Welcome back — Day Nine
This morning I woke up at 10:20 AM.
I didn’t go to bed that late — maybe 11:30 PM. And I woke up eleven hours later feeling… well, great, physically anyway. Turns out, I had some sleep to catch up on. I was “in debt” — but I just earned back some serious sleep credit.
Now, I take some positives from this. I’d been going to bed too late the past three nights. And Wednesday is my off-morning from training. So it was somewhat of a reset: setting myself up to attack the rest of the week — good energy, training well, sharper focus, body and mind ready to be productive.
But let’s be honest, sometimes, when you wake up at 10:20 AM on a Wednesday… you kinda feel lousy — to put it nicely.
Today, I’m somewhere between those two. Like I’m the flag in the tug-of-war between self-care and self-critic.
Coming into this challenge I thought it would be a great opportunity to be intentional about creating a routine. But, that hasn’t quite been the case so far.
The past few days have looked like this:
Part 1 (The consistent part):
7:15 AM - 7:30 AM: Alarm, snooze, alarm, snooze, alarm, wake-up
7:35 AM - 7:55 AM: Get up, make bed, hygiene, water and multivitamin, light breakfast
8:00 AM - 10:30 AM: Head out to Laurus (if you’re an athlete in MN, you should be going to Laurus) — workout, run, ball work
11:30 AM: Cup of tea and a heavy breakfast
12:30 PM - 2:15 PM: Reach out to people about soccer, figure out what I’m going to write about today, write a first draft
2:15 PM: Feel good about what I wrote and the direction I’m headed in for today’s entry
Part 2 (The fork in the road):
My afternoons have gone one of two ways:
Option A:
2:30 PM - 4:45 PM: Head to another training facility, train, head back home
5:30 PM - 8:00 PM: Shower, recover, eat dinner. Feel productive about soccer, get complacent about writing
8:00 PM: Feel terrible about what I wrote, how little I’ve written, and freak out about the prospect of being up all night after scrapping the first idea
8:05 PM: Send the idea and draft to my brother. Get reassurance. Go with the original idea
Option B:
2:30 PM: Tell myself, “You’re in a good spot for today’s entry; you can go see some friends for a few hours.” Schedule activity (tonight is pickleball).
2:30 PM - 5:00 PM: Read, kick and juggle a ball aimlessly, journal, draft a message to a coach
5:00 PM - 8:00 PM: Socialize with friends. A seed of stress grows knowing I’m not done with today’s entry
Part 3 (The semi-consistent part):
8:10 PM - 10:30 PM: Type, delete, type, delete, type, delete, continue
10:30 PM - 11:00 PM: Conclude: “It’s good enough.” Upload. “F***, I haven’t thought of a title.” Stress over title. Publish.
~11:00 PM - 12:00 AM: Head to bed
They say you have to control your life before it controls you. And for the last couple days, I’ve felt controlled by my life. Spending time with friends and loved ones or being on FaceTime with someone I care about and in the back of my head, I hear a creepy, annoying little Gollum-sounding reminder: “Hey, remember! You’ve got some writing to do!” or “Hey! You still don’t know where you’ll be for preseason… and it’s coming up quickly!” It’s tough to stay in the moment.
So, to control my life a bit more and take back the reins of this challenge, I want to outline my ideal day for the rest of the thirty days. While you can only control so much of one day, my focus will be on finding a morning routine I can stick to as a constant. One that gives me energy for the rest of the day, rather than taking energy. And most importantly, one that sets the foundation for getting me to sleep early on the back end.
Ideal 30-Day Challenge Day
Morning:
5:45 AM: Wake up, make bed, stretch, hygiene, water, multivitamin
6:00 AM - 6:30 AM: Read
6:30 AM - 6:42 AM: Brainstorm entry while enjoying morning tea
6:43 AM - 7:40 AM: Write first draft
7:40 AM: Breakfast
8:00 AM - 10:30 AM: Head to Laurus — workout, run, ball work
11:00 AM - 11:30 AM: Arrive home, make tea, eat smoothie bowl with granola
Afternoon:
12:00 PM - 2:00 PM: Go to a cafe, write second draft
2:00 PM - 4:30 PM: Light lunch, head to training, train, head home
5:00 PM: Light late lunch
Evening:
5:30 PM - 6:30 PM: Finishing touches on entry
6:45 PM: Dinner
7:15 PM - 9:15 PM: Energy-boosting activities (social or solo)
9:15 PM - 9:45 PM: Get ready for bed, read in bed
9:45 PM: Asleep
That’s a day I could be proud of.
Now, whether I can stick to such a day remains to be seen. But I bet that if I can control my morning, I can control my night, right?
I’ve always struggled to get to bed early, but I feel so much better the next day when I do. It’s said that it takes twenty-one days to make a habit. Coincidentally there are now twenty-one days left in this challenge. So, let’s start somewhere. And if I get through twenty-one, I’m confident I can keep going.
Here’s what I know to be true about a good day:
A cup of tea (or coffee) in the morning is sacred. It's the day’s first act of creation — pouring the hot water over the teabag, stirring it five times, letting it steep for no more than one minute, and squeezing the teabag against the side of the mug with the back of the spoon before removing it. Then the milk, every day you’re chasing the perfect pour — a pour that creates just the right color and consistency. And lastly, timing the first sip to the sweet-spot temperature that warms the soul.
Two key ingredients of a good day are movement and socializing. Not every day with those two things will be a good day, but every good day will include them.
A morning routine can make or break the day ahead. It’s the series of micro-wins that help motivate and build momentum with every completed task.
I’m curious—what are the hallmarks of your ideal day?
What’s the one constant, the non-negotiable, in your morning routine? And what’s something you’ve added to your day recently that, five or ten years ago, you never would’ve imagined yourself doing?
Lastly, if you’ve ever committed to a morning routine that felt tough at first, do you have any practical tips for sticking with it? I’d love to hear what you think! Let me know.
Appreciate you being here,
Rory O.
Rally On.
Wow, Rory. This entry is my favorite so far. Borderline scary relatable. Thank you for sharing, mate.
Funny enough, here I am reading this post at 10:04 AM EST, and luckily (gratefully) feeling as though I deserve this extra rest. I put “gratefully” in parenthesis because I have been practicing gratefulness every day and trying to rethink the usage of the adjective "lucky" - more on that later.
I have been staying in the office until 7 PM all week and have been working really hard to build better habits for living a healthy and exciting life and for the first time in a while, so I feel as though I truly deserve the extra few hours of rest this morning.
For the last few weeks, however, the conversations with my therapist have all been about feeling lousy in the morning. I never feel as though I have the right amount of energy to get up and get going as quickly as I want. Instead, it feels like I have a cloud inside of my head and I feel the pressure of competition as all of my coworkers have already showered, logged in, and started getting to work. It doesn’t help that I wake up with knots in my hair and drool coming out of my mouth too :) I know that when I have an efficient, productive morning I always end up feeling accomplished for the rest of the day. To be honest, I am still trying to figure my mornings out and I feel like I am the flag that you mentioned “in the tug-of-war between self-care and self-critic.” For now, I am overall feeling grateful for having a chill and trusting manager who believes in me and my work.
Yesterday morning, I Slack messaged my manager telling her how grateful I was of her management style, and she responded "Appreciate that message - I like leading people how I like to be led. Lead with trust and respect and feedback when one has. I see how hard you're working and respect the shit out of you." I think her idea of leading people how she likes to be led is an awesome way to manage in the workforce and I think it is something we can translate to how we manage our own body, routine, habits, and the constant thoughts running through our head.
We must lead and treat ourselves how we like to be led and treated. We can’t build a new habit just because we think it is the right thing to do or because it is what the Instagram influencer told us to do as a quick hack to wake up at 5:30 in the morning and feel rested automatically. No! We are only going to build good habits if we enjoy it and we feel like we are acting intentionally to succeed in the long run.
Time-blocking has never worked for me unfortunately, but god-speed if it works for y’all. Instead, I have been obsessed with the new app, “Atoms” which was created by the author of the popular book “Atomic Habits”, James Clear. DOWNLOAD IT. It is a very visually pleasing way of checking off daily habits with which you want to achieve the ultimate goal - consistency. He creates an easy template to fill in MADLIBS style. “I will (Habit), (Time/Location) so that I can become (Type of person I want to be). Here are the 5 habits that I am starting with for 2025.
1. “I will not drink all of January so that I can become a person that prioritizes their well being.” - Successful so far! On a 7 day streak!
2. "I will text or call mom and dad at 8 PM EST so that I can feel like a good son” - Already feeling like a good son after 3 days of doing this!
3. “I will leave for the gym at 8:45 AM so that I can become a hard, strong worker.” - I am still struggling with getting up that early and haven’t been able to be consistent, but I have not skipped 2 days in a row for 15 days!
4. “I will write in my gratitude journal before bed so that I can become a grateful, 19% happier person.” Finding this one to be simple! 9 day streak.
5. “I will read 20 pages, at 10:30 PM so that I can become a healthy sleeper.” - I am still having tons of nightmares, but now I love reading and I never have any trouble falling asleep. My new Kindle has been a game changer so I can read without my light on in my desired sleeping position.
I think the most important part of these habits is the final-third part of the MADLIB, the “Type of person I want to be.” For the first 25 years of my life I have tried to build a habit of going to the gym with an end-goal of looking stronger, not being too skinny and finally not being self-conscious when taking my shirt off in public. Now, it has been really helpful envisioning the end-goal of “becoming a hard, strong worker.” Picturing who I want to be 10 years down the line as opposed to trying to get quick physical results in 10 weeks.
Learnings from the Atoms app that have stuck with me:
1. If we are to stick with a habit that we want to build, it needs to be FUN! DUH! Don’t be too hard on yourself. Do what you enjoy, not what other people are doing/enjoying.
2. Start small. Don’t try to do too much in the beginning. Rather than thinking “What could I do on my best day?”, start by asking yourself “What could I stick to even on the bad days?”
3. The goal shouldn't be short term, it should be about who you want to become as a person 10 years down the road.
4. Your favorite athlete’s first workout was just as bad as yours. Your favorite chef’s meal was just as bad as yours. Your favorite artist’s first work was just as bad was yours. You don’t need to master your habit, you need to master the art of showing up.
5. New goals don’t deliver new results. New lifestyles do. A lifestyle is a process, not an outcome. It is a way of living, not a moment in time.” As he wrote in Atomic Habits, “You do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.
6. Never miss out two days in a row. Take an off day if you aren’t feeling it and don’t judge yourself after taking the break. Just make sure you do not miss that second day in a row.
7. Most people need consistency more than they need intensity. Intensity makes a good story. Consistency makes progress.
Rory, I will provide my honest and loving feedback to your entry, as I think this Substack has been an awesome display of your transparency and vulnerability. Everyone reading these posts have been moved by each blog post and we all need to thank you for that every day. In my experience, keeping myself to a strict day with time blocks never works because it is simply too intense for me to handle. I am sure playing on a D1 soccer team and playing professional ball has taught you great skills with keeping yourself accountable, but I think for any human some of those strict workout plans or morning routines are too intense. To reiterate on my 7th Atoms app learning about intensity above, most people need consistency more than they need intensity. “Intensity makes a good story, but consistency makes progress.” I would encourage you to try one thing at a time and nail that down first with the Atoms app before time blocking a full day. Choose one specific hour of the day to do one activity you enjoy most and that you think will lead to you being the person you want to be 10 years down the line.
This reply may make me seem like I have already perfected building habits, but trust me, I have also been building some bad habits since living in NYC but we don’t need to go into depth on those :) Consistency is a 25-year battle that I have constantly been fighting, and we are a long way from achieving it. The beauty of it is that we will never “achieve” this desired consistency that every influencer on TikTok has seemed to master in 5 days. We are the tortoise, not the hare, and it is a beautiful process and journey that we are so lucky to experience in our lifetime. Please, take my advice with a grain of salt!
I almost forgot to follow back up on my thoughts above about rethinking the everyday usage of the adjective "lucky" - I think describing ourselves as "lucky" is a trap, and it is not giving ourselves enough credit. Whether we find ourselves in the right place at the right time, or in my line of work, a huge seller might reach out to me and ask me for help to join our app, ultimately leading me to hit my sales numbers for the month. There is a reason that we are in that situation in the first place. It could be the hours that we put in the weeks before or the instincts/gut that we trusted a few days ago to do a specific action. It could also be simply because “Good things happen to good people.” Thanks to my mentor and cousin Timmy for that quote. Oprah also once said “I believe luck is preparation meeting opportunity. If you hadn’t been prepared when the opportunity came along, you wouldn’t have been lucky.” I have been trying to stop myself when I have the urge to say “how did I get this lucky”, or “I don’t know how it happened, just luck I guess!” It is time to start giving ourselves more credit for the work and grind we put into life.
The only time from now on that I will say the L-Word is when describing how luc.... fortunate we are to be able to live every day as a human. That is the biggest blessing in itself.
Good things are coming to the people who are being intentional with their actions and actively trying to become a better person (While also treating every single person with respect and kindness.) All we can do is try to enjoy the process and happily concede to the fact that our life and habits will never reach perfection.
I am proud of you, Rory, and all of the subscribers for starting 2025 with the long process of learning how to enjoy building habits and a strategy for a more fulfilling life. Also I am stealing your sign-off because I love it.
“With gratitude”
Pete
Wow, also really grateful for everyone’s willingness to share their thoughts. I wasn’t really inspired today to comment anything today, probably because I’m tired, but everyone’s engagement helped. I’m excited to check out the Atoms app. I love that it has the prompt “Type of person I want to be”. It gives the habit a purpose.
I agree, movement is always a part of a good day. It's a non-negotiable for me. It’s a must. I’ve incorporated a lot of outdoor walking into my routine because it’s low stress on the body and always seems to clear my head. Since finishing soccer, I’ve transitioned into less intense exercise that still makes me feel strong/healthy. It’s similar to the idea of “most people need consistency more than they need intensity”. I really relate to that because if I tried to do workouts from college, I would collapse. D1 soccer did a number on my body and I went through too many surgeries from it. I used to be upset and annoyed that my injuries led to chronic pain and limited my ability to go running. I believe that movement is a non-negotiable for me now because I’m so grateful that I’m even able to walk/move my body and not rely on crutches like I did when injured. I switched to different forms of exercise like walking, hot yoga, and pilates which I genuinely enjoy. These exercises make me consistent with moving my body each day.
To Rundy, thank you for sharing your thoughts and opening up. I would also agree with your idea about the strict day with time blocks. For the past year, I had my days planned down to the very last minute and it was insanely specific of what I had to do. And I had the days planned for the entire month in advance. I did this so I could pass my first year of PA school and everyone advised us that this was the way to do it. But, if for some reason I couldn’t complete a task on my list or I didn’t finish the task during the time block, it would cause stress. There was also nowhere else to put that task since everything was booked up. I learned the downfall with this because life is always going to surprise you. Unexpected things will arise and will put a dent into your perfectly made schedule. I always think of the quote (I think I made up?, idk where it came from) but it's "Adversity forces us to focus on the things we need to learn". If something comes up and puts a dent in your schedule or injuries interrupt your soccer career, how are you going to adapt, learn from it, and overcome it? I referenced that quote a lot when things did arise that weren't considered ideal.
I wrote down that schedule in my notes section each semester. I can’t wait to look back at those notes (and self-reflect) and laugh about how crazy that part of my life was. I liked how it was on the notes app because I would add in little quotes next to each task and be like “just shutup and grind” and everything had a green checkpoint emoji next to it when it was completed. It was not chill and probably a little insane, but it worked. The first goal that I wrote down for 2025 was “Don’t plan your days out in advance, take it day by day”. I wanted to change the mindset of not having to plan 20 steps ahead in my life. That mindset began in school, but then started to translate into my personal life as well… and it drove me crazy. I started thinking 20 steps ahead about my future. I would stress over where am I going to move after school, who am I going to marry, what color BMW am I going to get (when I actually have money). Like girllllll, how about you stop worrying for no reason and just finish working towards your career. None of that matters right now. I was stressing about the unknown. I wasn’t being present because I was too worried about planning ahead. I don’t know if this mindset stemmed from my school schedule and trying to control every part of my life, but I know I don’t want to continue thinking like that. I want to enjoy the present and be grateful that all my hard work has led me to this point of my life. Thanks again Rory for always putting in the time and effort writing your posts. It is always well-written and makes sense. Usually, when I write comments I'm like does this even make sense lollll, but I'm still practicing this habit! This challenge has definitely been apart of my ideal day.